A witch knows the only tool necessary for practicing the craft is herself. The more deeply connected and in control of the self—physical, mental and spiritual bodies, the more powerful the witch. Understanding how to care for yourself is an essential foundation of your power. But what is self care?
Good news! Self care is about bubble baths and scented candles.
The good news is that self care is about bubble baths and scented candles, if taking baths and firing up the aromatherapy is what restores you. So defintiely, take a bath and light your candles every day—twice on rough days. Or lace up your running shoes and jog three miles after work if that's how you unwind.
Self care is pampering, and workouts that make you sweat, it's sleeping in on weekends, and getting up with the sun to drink in the peace and quiet of another day dawning. It's sitting in meditation one day, and dancing late into the night the next. It's about eating well and having your cake too.
Quite simply, self care is knowing what you need, when you need it, and making sure you receive it—whether from others or yourself. Of course, that's also the recipe for impulsive indulgence.
A glass of wine in the evening may be just what you need to relax and unwind, but several glasses bring regret in the morning. Likewise, a destination vacation is a good way to get away from it all when you're feeling overworked and burnt out, but if paying your credit cards down afterwards means taking on a side hustle, what have you really accomplished? A weekend closer to home might be a better choice in the long run.
To be effective, self care requires forethought and foresight—knowing not only what you need and when you need it, but also understanding in what measure, and what it promises in the future.
In that way, self care is much like crafting a good spell—knowing your desire, setting your intention, asking for what you want, and applying your will to obtain results.
Self care by its name, implies that which you do for yourself, but don't let that fool you. Self care is also about asking for what you need. And sometimes, it's just that simple. I recently asked my husband for one long, tender hug every day. He happily granted my wish and we're both reaping the benefits.
Powerful self care goes one step further, by making a practice of tending to your own needs before taking care of others. Wait, what? Did some voice in your head just utter selfish? Tell that heckler to shush up. I said before others, not instead of others. You wouldn't expect your car to carry you everyplace you go without first filling it with gas, would you?
Here's the thing about most witches, we are powerfully good at taking care of the people, the creatures, and the land around us. We understand that all these things are connected; caring for individuals is caring for the whole.
In caring for and healing others, we feel as though we are healing ourselves.
We are also (many of us) adept at collecting the walking wounded, they are drawn to us like a beacon of hope in the dark. The great irony is that we are equally drawn to them, because in caring for and healing others, we feel as though we are healing ourselves. In some ways, we can see our own needs more clearly when reflected back to us from another, but this is not true self care. We must do our own work first.
Thinking about creating a regular practice of self care can feel very overwhelming, to the point of anxiety that defeats the whole purpose. Relax, take a deep breath, and keep it simple.
Anne Lamott famously explained the title of her book on writing and life, Bird by Bird, with the story of her brother, who was once overwhelmed by the enormity of a school project on birds. Their father's advice was to take it one bird at a time, and bird by bird the project was completed.
You could spend hours on end, days, or even weeks, in a deep dive figuring out everything you need for self care and how to manifest it. Or you could care for yourself the same way you do for others, by simply noticing what you need and making it happen.
Pick one thing you need, and then be your own fairy godmother, wave your magic wand and make it happen for you. Start today, to make your life better in one simple way.
If you need a little nudge to get you going, try one or more of the journal prompts below.
What simple things brought me joy and comfort as a child? What need did they fill, and how can I receive the same, or something similar now?
What needs can I ask others to meet? What can I delegate?
How do my surroundings support me? Is my home, or some place in it, inviting, soothing and relaxing to me? How can I make so?
Am I getting at least seven hours of restful sleep a night? If not, in what ways (mundane and magical) can I support better sleep? (See Six Tips For Better Sleep and Bedtime Teas that help you Sleep)
Am I practicing daily devotion, meditation, or other spiritual connection? If not, what's standing in my way? What do I need to make this happen?
Am I getting enough exercise, am I going outdoors? How can I make this fun and something to look forward to?
What makes me laugh? How can I create more opportunity to laugh?
How am I nurturing my friendships and other relationships (especially in this time of safer at home and social distancing)?
How do I practice gratitude?
~ Blessed Be and Journey Well