The Tarot cards we fear the most have the most to tell us. Yesterday a friend pulled a card for me, It was the Tower. She cringed.
I chuckled. "I am the fucking Tower."
The Tower represents chaos. Chaos is, by definition, behavior so unpredictable it appears to be random, complete disorder and confusion, the crumbling of foundations and the end of status quo. In Greek mythology, it is the void, the formless state of matter before the cosmos was created.
A favorite quote that I often refer to is from the Greek philosopher Heraclitus, who said, “There is nothing permanent, except change.” The void, was the same matter before and after the big bang, it simply changed in function and perception. It became restrained.
Chaos has pulled the rug out from under me so many times in the past two decades that I I’ve lost count—but I’ve survived it all. When my friend turned the Tower card, I realized in a moment of sudden clarity, that I am no longer afraid of the Tower, I have embodied its energy, and it part and parcel of my becoming Crone. This is not a bad development, nor a good one, rather it’s both—as most things in life tend to be.
Not so long ago (given the scale of a lifetime), that Tower card would have unnerved me, filled me with a fear of impending doom. Such a reaction may have been the very thing that would serve to change the course of events and trigger the chaos of the Tower. When you’re looking over your shoulder for the danger stalking you, it’s easy to trip and fall over the bump in the road you could have avoided.
When you fear the water, you flail around, kicking, splashing and sinking. When you stop resisting, and let the water envelope you, you float at the surface. Better yet, learn to swim through the water and you can explore its depths.
I have learned to swim in the waters of chaos. This growing state of acceptance that life is chaos and none of us are going to get out of it alive, has freed me to more fully enjoy the calm and happy moments between the chaos.
As I embrace my purpose as Crone, I realize that the souls who come to me for guidance are seeking change, whether they are consciously aware of it or not. Only a few are willing to embrace the chaos that will wreck them, before it recreates them in a new form.
As a Tower person, I have been forged in the fire of chaos and my steel is strong, I pull no punches and have no more fucks to give. My radar locks in on your hidden landmines—I can trigger them or not.
As Crone the truths I offer are enlightening but many times harsh. What I perceive of any who come to me seeking guidance, is not my opinion of them, but my experience of what their soul is projecting. I have great stores of compassion and empathy, but no time to waste on fools, you best be further along in your journey than that if you come to me.
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